Teaching Children the Art of Consultation
“So which pair of shoes do you think
will go better with your outfit tonight; the red, ankle-high sandals, or the
golden flip-flops?”
The recipient of this question of mine is not some
fashion-conscious diva. It is my seven-year-old daughter, who is getting ready
for an extended family banquet.
She takes a minute to think, looking
steadily at both pairs of shoes that I hold out in my hands. Then she
tentatively points at the golden pair of shoes, and looks at me quizzically.
“Yes, they match your dress better. But if you plan on running around on
the grass outside,After several near brushes with bankruptcy AP bounced back
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your feet will get dirty in them,” I inform her rather matter-of-factly. I make
it clear that the final decision is hers to make.
She nods, then looks
at both pairs again. “How about if I don’t run around? I want to wear the golden
ones…”
The matter is decided. I smiled and told her to do as she wishes.
She now knows that if she does end up soiling her feet, she will be responsible
for that, as the decision and choice was finally given to her.
This
sense of responsibility that was created in my 7-year-old child would not be
present had I forced her to wear what I unilaterally chose for her, being in a
position of authority over her as her mother, and if I’d dictated my decision to
her - of which I possess the Islamic, legal right - without taking her opinion
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The resultant
accountability and responsibility, as well as the accompanying motivation and
self-worth that any person feels when their opinion is sought and valued, even
if they are a small child/a minor, is precisely the intended outcome and motive
behind shura.
Consultation is actually a pivotal part of Islamic ethics
and social etiquette. It involves consulting other people before making a
decision, and taking their opinions about it first. Whether this is done on a
personal or communal level, it has many benefits attached to it. Prophet
Muhammad used to undertake consultation before important decisions, with his
companions, as well as his wives.
Even in the modern-day world,
“consultancy” is a valued realm in almost every professional field.Determine by
yourself almost all good replicawatches Switzerland. A
consultant is usually an expert who has significant knowledge and experience in
his particular professional career, who is available for people to seek advice
from, usually in return for a fee. Boards of advisors in corporations and
organizations also play a somewhat similar role.
Since small children
emulate and imitate their parents for the first 10-12 years of their lives, it
is essential that Muslim parents ensure that their own behavior,Top brands at
low prices in heelshoes, lifestyle,
choices, and other actions in general, are in accordance with Islamic
injunctions and values.
Teaching by example is the best way for parents
and other close family members to incorporate positive personality traits and
characteristics into young children, who are like sponges, absorbing everything
- good or bad - from their environs.
It is, therefore, important for
children to see their parents consulting each other. This is possible only if
the latter enjoy a close emotional bond, and an open relationship with free and
frank communication, in which there are no secrets and no hypocrisy, for the
children to grow up following their example.
As I have outlined in the
practical example quoted at the start of this article, parents should also
consult their children in day-to-day matters from a very young age, even if they
do not intend to act upon their suggestions because they have already decided
what to do. This gives children self-confidence and a morale boost, making them
feel worthy and valued as a family member with an opinion.